


Assorted Poetry

by LOTW



Category: Original Work
Genre: Haiku, Poetry, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide, Tag to be added, Trans Character, Trans Male Character
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-02
Updated: 2018-01-30
Packaged: 2018-08-28 15:44:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 931
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8452207
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LOTW/pseuds/LOTW
Summary: A series of random poems.





	1. Chapter 1

The clouds cry  
Their heavy tears falling to cover the world  
An infectious feeling of dread passes to all who watch  
Though children too young to be discouraged  
Still play in the deep lakes of the street  
Their innocence sheltering them from feeling the cold  
Despite the shivers that have made a rhythm in their bodies  
And slowly cools their blood  
Until most stumble home to the call of their mothers  
But those who have nowhere to go must find someplace to rest their heads  
They are beginning to understand  
Why the clouds cry  
If they must watch these thousands every day  
So they join the clouds


	2. Chapter 2

I don't want to hear your empty-headed compliments  
I don't want to hear your empty-hearted lies  
"You're so nice, you're so sweet  
I think that we should meet"  
Yet when you see me you avoid me  
When I talk you ignore me  
I don't want to play  
I just want to hear you say  
What you really think  
Or else act on what you've told me  
Grow up, or shut up  
Can you not see how this is killing me  
To see you believing that you care  
But when my fate is in the air  
Will you really?


	3. Chapter 3

Tell the boy  
Tell him about the girl  
Who has ruined his body  
Fooled his family  
Destroyed his life  
From the first breath of poison in his lungs  
An ongoing death of suffocation  
She knows that she is hated  
But the girl that no one wants to see  
Is better than the boy that no one wants to exist  
And he'll never know what that means  
All he'll ever know  
Is the screaming of his own voice in his mind


	4. Chapter 4

The bells rang  
They rang through the day, through the night, through their dreams  
It was a rather pretty sound  
Cruel irony  
When everyone knew the bells meant  
Dirt, flowers, black, tears, cannons, screaming, fire  
That didn't end when the fell at last


	5. Chapter 5

Staring at my hands  
Watching my friends share their tears  
I wish I could help


	6. Chapter 6

Thinking about my future is like thinking about nothing  
Because after year of giving up there is nothing left

When I was five and you asked me what I wanted to be  
I said "A doctor, a teacher, an artist"  
and you told me about  
The tears and the blood and countless terrible things  
And said  
"You'll need more money than that"  
And you  
Looked at my drawings and  
Threw them away like trash

Even though I know now  
That you were full of lies  
That it isn't always how you told me  
I've now spent years falling out of love with every interest I've found  
My voice replacing yours after you moved on  
And it feels like I can't go back


	7. Chapter 7

The blackness that covers my path  
Does it lead to the future or to my distant past  
Which one do I want to see  
Which one holds the real me


	8. Chapter 8

If God is true, I must be a demon  
If he's not then all the more reason  
To live the lie that I am free  
Before darkness overtakes me


	9. Chapter 9

My book is almost through,  
What am I to do  
There'll be nothing more to fill my mind  
With fantasies of every kind  
No more happy tales (and murder too)  
Oh what am I to do

Playing games is much too hard, writing is a bore  
I'd much rather read a book and find out what's in store  
For a ghost who likes to play the intense game of 'Five'  
Or those orphans, laughing as their parents burn alive  
But the last page will soon be here  
As the villain gives a final leer  
My book is finally through  
Now what am I to do


	10. Chapter 10

When I was born my identity was chosen for me. I had no chance to protest.  
When I was five I took the title of tomboy like it was water in a desert. The only part of myself that I could control.  
My mother said she would give me any toys I wanted, but by the time I was seven I knew that asking for cars and Lego would leave me with Barbie Corvettes and pink blocks.  
When I was eight I cried myself to sleep, convinced that everything wrong with my life was because I'd been born a girl.  
When I was ten my mother told me that every girl wants to be a boy. That they all just pretend.  
By ten I knew I wanted to die.  
I knew when I was twelve that she was wrong, but I'd spent so long convincing myself otherwise that I decided every sign lead to a dead end.  
When I was fifteen I tried to be a boy online and fell in love.  
My classmates ridicule me for thinking that anyone would want to hurt me, but when I was fifteen my friend told me trans people were going to burn. He thought he was safe to tell me just because I wasn't one of them.  
How many people look at me and say that I should die, how many do I not hear because they know I'm one of them.  
When I was fifteen I killed myself, and I came back stronger. My name is mine again.   
I'm sixteen, and my mother still pretends that her daughter isn't dead. Says that she could never see a son because she didn't see any signs.  
As if she would have done anything but deny me if I'd told her what was happening to me.


End file.
